Grief

Caye was cremated and interred yesterday.

He’s really gone now. Without even his body to view through the glass of a coffin.

The past few days, I have been dealing with a tumult of emotions. Of course there is the sadness. How can you not grieve for someone who was the most important person in your life for nine years?

Yet this grief is not absolute. It is at times tentative, sometimes unsure. After all, how exactly do you mourn the passing of the person who has caused you the most pain in your entire life? Pain that, to be perfectly honest, has yet to completely pass?

I still don’t have the answer.

~ by girlwidget on October 3, 2008.